They say there is someone out there for each and everyone, in fact, that there is no reason for anyone to contemplate on settling for singlehood without giving themselves the chance to find their significant other. I tend to tally with that judgment; I mean there’s got to be your soul mate out there unless of course you feel that calling to join the monastery or convent right? However, driven by that one law of relationships, many people make the unforgivable mistake of settling for miserable partners while trying to convince themselves that it’s it.
Come on we all wish it were possible to read the mind of the person we like, know what they are thinking, and especially are they really into us? While those are only wishes, it would be in your best interest if you learnt to discern possible signs that you might be scaling heights way beyond your reach. Today as compared to fallen centuries, women have become a little too liberated I would say in a world where “what men can do, women can do much better”.
I guess it hails from the heart aches women have had to suffer in the past, the misery of witnessing your elder sister dating an invisible man; your mum married to the same kind, in short men who just will never belong to them. So she grows up holding the same shallow perspective and when one day she finds herself in a relationship, she cannot erase the image of how someone she loves has suffered for love and now this is where all the drama begins. You’ve got to really have the it factor to nail her down and especially to convince her without doubt that she can trust you to wait for her at the altar while she walks down that aisle.
So you’ve had a perfect relationship, anyone with their eyes open could see you guys were headed for a perfect marriage just the same. Yet with all those evident signs that she’s the one, she still might end up rejecting your marriage proposal and this is why:-
She is not ready – Single women sometimes tend to harbor the grave misconception of
“young forever” and barbarically hope to stay young and single for as long as possible unless of course the ravage of time betrays them. Again, sometimes she just might not be ready because of the circumstances present in your relationship. Probably she is looking at you and seeing someone who still need to better mature and you better keep hoping that the reason she is not ready isn’t because she has two options to consider. Well, where of course after her sound judgment, one will simply have to somehow disappear. Still keeping my fingers crossed for you that this be not the case.
However, the best thing you can do in this case is to keep reassuring her, try composing yourself into a husband material because could be she still sees a boy who will fleet at the onset of marriage baggage. I guess this is where you start nurturing that strong outside appearance, let her know that with you she will find a pillar of strength and protection.
She doesn’t want to get married, ever- Well, it would be naive to still think that in this day and time every woman still dreams of their wedding from the age of six. Probably grew up witnessing horrible marriage settings around her, who knows her mum or someone she loves probably suffered the fate of a bad marriage. To have to witness all that, the agony of a once stable home crumbing down overnight, she might have decided that will never be her case. It would be logical for her to try and escape every avenue that spells marriage and will often prefer to remain in a stable relationship not bound with the word marriage for as long as she never have to feel obliged to tolerate a miserable partner.
So she might hint the fact that she still wants to be with you but cannot face the paperwork part where she will belong to someone, anyone, not even you who she claims to love. So I guess you’ve got to be wise enough to choose what you want, if you love her as much and are willing to sacrifice not being a husband for the sake of her peace of mind well then, it’s your call. Again if she would rather date and never settle for even the word procreation, I guess this is where you wake up and choose to let go. Life is too short you know and family especially for a man remains vital.
She doesn’t want to marry you- Hhhmmm, I bet no one anticipates this scenario and I would say it’s the hardest reason to ingest. That she looks at you and sees her future not? Come on, you must be the worst kind am sure, why else would she date you with the sole intention of dumping you? Well that’s what she is doing right? Or do you call this rejection of a woman whose dream of a sizzling wedding accommodates none of yours?
At least you know where you stand; you can now stop wasting precious time on an impossible dream and move on. Find that one person, who will suffer a heart attack the moment you pop that question and not because you let out a time bomb but because you surpassed her wildest dreams.
However, no matter what happens don’t bottle it up and don’t let it get to you, speak to someone about it, let it all out and especially don’t ever beg them to reconsider their answer. Sure, it will obviously hurt like hell, especially if you proposed on a grand setting where all her friends and yours were to witness, but come one, have you never heard of men whose proposals got rejected on international live shows and heck their lives went on! So you were not foolish for following your heart, your only mistake was loving a woman whose heart was forbidden for you and with all the flooding drops remaining in the ocean, your heart will surely go on!
Hey, and that ring, you might want to slow on that next time, a silver one would do just fine, just saying!